Jackass of Spades

I know that I was supposed to elaborate on my plan to go homeless but I have a new need and that is to complain. If you know me , you will know that this happens often. If you know me you can skip the background information that I'm about to give you, but since many of you do not know me this information will be essential to understanding what i'm about to tell you.
I work at a small retail party store in an economically depressed area. At my establishment we sell paperware, balloons, party hats, noise makers, and the like. Pretty much anything you would expect to find at a party store. Although we have some very nice customers we tend to cater mostly to a lower socio-economic class. Those in the area who have money, tend to throw their parties with Johnny Walker Blue and canapes not Labatt Blue and hot dogs. Those who do the former are not my customers.
Now that you understand my average customer I'm sure that it will be easier to understand the average interaction I have during the day. Here's one quick example for those of you who are going to ask. It's a recap of a phone call I fielded today. This conversation is not indicative of every one I have but similar conversations occur often enough to be aggrivating.

Me: Thank you for calling _____. How may I help you?

Caller: I'm lookin' for them things you put on a table.

Me: What sort of things are those?

Caller: Them things you put on a table. They come in a package.

Me: I'm sorry but I'm not sure what you are talking about. Could you tell me what they look like?

Caller: Well, my brother was in there last week and he said you didn't have none of them things. You know. Them things. They say "forty" and stuff. You know. You put them on a table. You sprinkle them on a table.

Me: Oh, do you mean confetti?

Caller: yeah

Me: For a fortieth birthday?

Caller: Yeah, my brother said you don't have none.

The call goes on and I eventually look for the fortieth birthday confetti knowing that it wasn't here last Saturday and also knowing that I haven't gotten any in since then. Obviously I know the outcome of my search but I figure that it's a good chance to stretch my legs and also waste a bit of this person's time as some sort of passive agressive retribution for doing the same to me. I come back to the phone and I give this person the opposite of the answer that they are looking. It has a net zero effect on my cash register but it warms my soul a few degrees knowing that I may in some way have helped to ruin this person's day. I feel like friggin' Gandhi.