Multimedia message

Classy dude, super classy

Multimedia message

These are a few of my favorite entries from the Moron to English dictionary I keep at my place of employment.

Always low prices.... Sometimes

I have a new cell phone and it can accept a micro SD card that can hold songs, games and pictures. I would like to store songs,games and pictures on my phone so I decided to buy a 4gig micro SD card. At the same time I also needed to buy cat food since I ran out this morning. I thought to myself, "What place might have both cat food and a micro SD card?" The answer I gave myself was, "Well, any big-box store you fool." I publicly berated myself for calling me a fool and then decided to check out Wal-Mart since it is the only big-box store within 15 miles of my little burgh. I went online to see if Wal-Mart first carried micro Sd cards and also to check their price. It's Wal-Mart so of course they had them and of course they were very inexpensive. A 4 gig card was just about $12 to be a bit more precise. So I get in my car and drive to Wal-Mart where I find the exact card that I found online. The card that was $12 online was almost $20 in the store. I spoke to a very nice sales associate and she shared that she also did not understand why this happened so much. She told me that I could have the item shipped to that same store for the online price with no extra charge. I already knew this but I decided not to.
Now I've been thinking about this ordeal and I've come to the conclusion that one of two things is going on here. Either Wal-Mart is so large that communication breaks down somewhere along the line from their Bentonville headquarters or that Wal-Mart is punishing it's customers for being unwilling or unable to research every product they buy. I believe the latter is true. If Wal-mart has the ability to ship any product to any store it would seem that they could very easily make the pricing equal not only among all of it's stores but also between it's online and brick and mortar stores. There really is no reason other than greed for there to be an 80% discrepency between prices on the same product from the same company. Always low prices? Only if you have the time and energy to find them. F Wal-Mart!

Multimedia message

Finally, I feel like He-Man. I have the power to post to my blog from my phone

SNO-WITE

He was thirty-six, but must have lived a hard life. He looked at least a decade older. He was there because he was "cooling off". She had pissed him off again and it was probably over this time. He celebrated with a six pack of Busch pints, the last one still clung to the plastic ring hanging from his pocket. The second to last was slowly being sipped as he told me his story. "They're always older like, in their fifties but they're always pretty hot, usually". He assured me that he wasn't violent but that he understood domestic violence. He spoke with the certainty of someone who had dealt a blow, probably several, most likely hundreds. He rolled a joint and lit it. It turned out to be a cigarette. Hand-rolled cigarettes are cheap and I soon learned that he was out of a job. He had been out of a job for years now and lived off the kindness of others and what God granted him at the food pantry. His family was appalled by his lifstyle but he had recently made his peace with them. They were wealthy and he had chosen the life of a drifter. San Diego, Key West and any other place where you could live in your van year round, he had called home. He left when the work ran out or when his sentence was up and always returned to New York.
My laundry was done so I told him that I'd see him around. I never did catch his name.

Morning haiku

Every rose has thorns

Like every night has a dawn

Cowboys sing sad songs

There are things that I know I should know but don't know like differential calculus, organic chemistry, how to program in Java, and if Gwen Stefani has any marks natural or otherwise on her breasts. There are also things that I know but that I know that I should not know like the names Zach Efron, Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale. I also know the exact aroma of my ladlord's urine. I should not know this.

Attn: All comments to posts containing haiku that are not themselves in haiku form will be deleted, but first ridiculed publicly.

Pro-Strife

There exists in this country, a perennially contentious debate over when the life of a person begins. Some believe that life begins at conception and generally put themselves in the "pro-life" camp that feels that once a woman has become pregnant the fetus has the right to life and that performing an abortion on this fetus would be tantamount to murder. Those on the opposite end of the spectrum usually call themselves "pro-choice" and believe that the fetus is simply part of the woman's body and that she has the right to terminate the pregnancy should it be in her best interest. Those on the pro-choice side of the debate understand and acknowledge that those on the pro-life side of the debate do believe that all life, even that of and unborn fetus, is very special and is to be protected. Those on the pro-life side of the debate seem to have less respect for the views of their opposition and often resort to calling pro-choice people "pro-abortionists"
Now you would probably agree with the majority of pro-choice people when they say that calling them "pro-abortion" is a gross misrepresentation of their views. You might even go so far as to say that no one is actually "pro-abortion". You would be wrong.
I am actually pro-abortion. I believe that the mothers of Dick Cheney, Nadya Suleman, Sean Hannity, and yes... Gallagher should all have been held down and had their bellies used like trampolines until their demon seeds ceased to exist. Some joke about "retroactive abortion" but this is no laughing matter. Serious action needs to be taken immediately to to ensure that not only are abortions kept legal but also painful and mandatory for those who may be carrying the next infamous war criminal, mass murderer, serial rapist, or conservative talk radio host. The retroactive abortion option needs to remain open for those who don't begin to show their tendencies toward being complete and utter assholes until their teens or even twenties. Like John Lennon said, "You show me a bloody coat hanger and I'll show you a perfect world"